2020 felt like we’d been suspended in limbo, everything on pause, even as we pivoted, shifted, and advanced. Or was that just me?
It’s a year we’ll all look back on as the one where everything changed and that’s good and right. Because 2020 was always meant to be a year in limbo, the transition ahead of the evolution.
Year end review…
I took the last week of the year off to process my thoughts about 2020. I always take the last week of a year to look back at what I did and didn’t do so I can look forward in anticipation of the next year. Even though 2020 was an exercise in suspension, my practice didn’t change.
As I looked back at my year, I discovered I spent a huge portion of 2020 feeling like a ghost, floating in that limbo space. I found myself caught up in the Doing most of the time, consumed with work to keep me busy and my mind occupied.
All this Doing led me to publish a book of my poetry, a renewed focus on my art practice, publication of a free eBook about creating feelings and turning them into art, and the first shitty draft of an intrigue / romance novel. These were bright lights in my year.
The Doing also led to one of the more intense depressive episodes I’ve ever experienced.
From the grey space…
From the grey space of depression, I discovered something important. A year in limbo offers gifts. 2020 opened the door to the transition ahead of the evolution where each and every one of us is offered the opportunity to Be who we’re meant to Be. There needed to be less Doing and more Being and in the latter part of 2020, that’s where I shifted.
And with the shift, everything changed. By focusing on Being over Doing, I discovered conforming to the image I had of myself as an entrepreneur wasn’t aligned. The work I want to do isn’t entrepreneurial; it’s spiritual and personal and can be done anywhere, at any time.
My work is writing and making art. These are things I’ve always done and will always do, whether they support me financially or not.
When I fully focused on Being, it became so much simpler to live from my heart and let my light shine.
Throughout the year, we all experienced major energetic waves – the virus, the civil unrest, the loss of “normal”, the gain of new ways to connect. The change, the growth, the fighting, the creativity – all of these were signposts for personal and spiritual evolution. And I evolved with them.
With joy and ease…
I’m returning to corporate work this year. It is meant. Writing and art making will continue because they feed my soul. In 2020, I learned to find and feel joy and ease in Being me, rather than through the things I Do.
This was my evolution. What was yours?
If you’re ready for a private (virtual) showing of my art, you can schedule an appointment here.
To discuss commissioning me to make a textured fiber painting specifically for you or someone you love, please schedule an exploratory commissioning conversation and we’ll see what we can create together.
If you enjoyed this essay, and it feels aligned, please share on social media or via email. If you liked it, someone you know will probably like it too!
2 thoughts on “2020: The Limbo Year”
I LOVE your writing. It is so authentic and really touches me. Makes me think. I am happy for you and your decisions. What work are you starting then in the corporate world? And I’m super glad you are going to continue your art. It will be easier now I think because it is not working to earn a living but creating from your soul. Warmly, Laura
On Mon, Jan 11, 2021 at 12:30 AM Hilary Clark Studios wrote:
> Hilary Clark posted: ” 2020 felt like we’d been suspended in limbo, > everything on pause, even as we pivoted, shifted, and advanced. Or was that > just me? It’s a year we’ll all look back on as the one where everything > changed and that’s good and right. Because 2020 was alway” >
Laura…Thank you so much for the lovely comments! I agree taking the burden of earning a living off my art practice will make things easier – and it will make it fun again! LOL. Re: my return to corporate – I’m looking to return to contracts management in the construction industry. It’s what I know and it’s gratifying to be a small part of creating structures others can use.