Practicing Patience: An Exercise in BEING

Patience is not my strong suit. In fact, as the saying (sort of) goes, I was too impatient to stand in line when they were handing out patience in the Spirit realm before I took human form. Sitting around, waiting, drives me nuts.

But the reality is, practicing patience is an exercise in BEING. All dreams can come true when we operate from BEING, because BEING is where joy and ease live. So, if the purpose of life is to live with joy and ease, then patience truly is a virtue because it keeps us present.

Image credit: lessonslearnedinlife.com

Ants in my pants…

I’m talking about patience today because I’ve really been struggling with it lately. I’m in the middle of something that, when the outcome is revealed to me, will create a great deal of change in my life. This is something I’m excited about and eager to embrace. I’m ready to move forward into what will be a new phase. (Don’t worry: when it happens, I’ll tell you all about it.)

The issue is there’s still no firm answer. Each day, a tiny bit more drips into my awareness, teasing me. All the plans in the world won’t bring the answer any more quickly. All the visualization won’t do it either.

Instead, I must be patient and trust the Universe to deliver the outcome in its own perfect time and for the highest good of all. This is what BEING is all about, and it’s something I’ve forgotten to focus on in my excitement.

Trust the Universe…

BEING is all about staying present. The past can’t be changed. The future isn’t written. And the truth is neither past nor future can ever be entered as moments in time. The only time that exists IS the present but I, like you, find myself building castles in the sky for a future I’d like to manifest.

There’s – mostly – nothing wrong with building those castles. I’m grateful for the direction they give to my vision. They help me to feel the feelings that will bring them into my reality. They give me something on which to focus my energy.

But I said there’s MOSTLY nothing wrong in this. That means there’s a tiny bit of wrong and it is this:

When I attach to the vision of those castles, I remove myself from the present. When this occurs, my excitement and eagerness turn into anxiety and tremendous impatience. I want those castles NOW but the now when those castles exist hasn’t yet come to be in my timeline. The impatience sends a strong signal to the Universe, resulting in a mixed message, and the Universe always delivers based on the strongest emotion.

Instead of delivering on the gratitude and joy I feel when I imagine this new path, the Universe holds back the outcome because it knows I’m impatient. It breeds impatience like rabbits.

I don’t have room for all those impatient rabbits. Instead, I’ve got to let go and trust the Universe. I’ve got to be patient. I’ve got to remember the best thing I can do for my vision is to BE, and then do that.

With joy and ease…

I’m confident the outcome I’m anticipating will become reality. I wrote this essay to remind me to be patient and trust the Universe to deliver it in its own perfect time. I’m releasing the outcome, I’m practicing patience, and I’m going to only BE for awhile.

This doesn’t mean I’m going to sit on my hands and overdose on Netflix (although that is an option). BEING means I’m going to focus on what I choose to do in each moment and let everything else go. I’m going to immerse myself in gratitude for the lesson and revel in the joy of my vision. And one day, easily, effortlessly, my vision will be real.

What about you? How patient are you for the castles you’re building? I’d love to know.

xo


Interested in my art, my writing, my poetry, or learning more about bringing consistent joy and ease into your life? Then let’s talk!

Contact me to schedule:
* A virtual coffee
* A private (virtual) art show of my art
* A commissioning conversation to discuss hiring me to create a textured fiber painting uniquely yours

If you enjoyed this essay, and it feels aligned, please share on social media or via email. If you liked it, someone you know will probably like it too!

How Social Media Impacts Joy

I have a Meh / Hate relationship with social media. Lately, that relationship has been impacting my joy.

Detail shot of (Feeling) Joy, one of my textured fiber paintings

The Meh side…

At least once a day, I consider deleting my Facebook and my Instagram, often my LinkedIn, and occasionally my Pinterest. This isn’t actually a new thing – I’ve had this debate with myself since the day I first joined Facebook back in late 2008 (my gateway platform).

But I never do.

Part of the reason is the Meh side of the relationship. This side is a stew of Like and Love because social media helps me stay connected and in the know on the lives of extended family and friends. I’m a horrible correspondent so social media is how I stay connected and engaged. If the only resources I had were text, phone calls, or email, odds are high I’d disappear off all radar.

I enjoy seeing what others are up to. I am grateful for the opportunity to express my sympathy when something goes awry. I find humor and inspiration in the memes others share. I learn about new places and have vicarious adventures.

In addition…

As an artist, social media is a handy tool to share my creations. It allows me to broadcast these essays further afield than my subscription list.

When I create a new textured fiber painting, I can share photos in my feed to brighten the feed of my friends.

I can publish tiny excerpts of the novel I’m writing to entertain and build interest in reading the completed book.

I can “advertise” work for sale and reach a broader audience, if the algorithms are in my favor that day.

Through social media, I can participate in groups that educate and support my artistry and my business side. This is useful.

The Hate side…

But then there’s the Hate side. This is where social media impacts my joy, and maybe it impacts yours as well. I frequently feel obligated to scroll Facebook and Instagram, like if I don’t open the app and start swiping up, I’ll miss something.

It feels like something I HAVE to do or SHOULD do, rather than something I WANT to do. I grab my phone and glue my nose to the screen, even when I’m meant to be doing something else.

Having a computer in my hand doesn’t make me more productive. It makes me more distracted. And joy is found in being present.

It’s an addiction…

Social media is an addiction and all addictions prevent us from feeling true joy. In the moment, immersed in the addiction, we believe we’re experiencing joy, but we’re not. What we’re really experiencing is a simulated, flat, false imagining of what joy feels like. What we’re really doing when we scroll and scroll and scroll is escaping from reality, from connection, from ourselves.

And that’s not how I choose to live. I want the reality, connection, myself, which means I need to break the addiction.

I used to smoke, for over 20 years. Breaking that addiction was WORK but it finally happened for good and all when I was ready to quit. The same applies here.

While it may not be practical to completely dump my social media accounts – I do appreciate the Meh side after all – it can be possible to distance myself from my device so I’m no longer reliant on scrolling to escape.

And that’s what I’m choosing to do. I’m going to study when I’m glued to my phone and then take the necessary actions to break the pattern. I’m going to start putting my phone out of reach when I’m working, reading, cooking dinner, making art, watching Netflix. I’m going to take a breath before leaping up to grab the phone to scroll so I can be more intentional about my reasons for doing so.

And through it all, eventually, I’ll reduce the impact social media has on my joy. Through it all, I’ll break the addiction.

With joy and ease…

There are plenty of resources out there that talk about social media as an addiction and how it’s altering our brains (if you haven’t seen it yet, go watch the Social Dilemma on Netflix as a place to start learning).

We’ve become ridiculously dependent on our devices and that dependency is impacting our joy. That breaks my heart. Joy is our birthright, the whole purpose of our human existence. Navigating the social media hurdle is just one of the many lessons to learn as we find our way back to joy.

I’m curious…would you consider yourself addicted to social media? How do your social media habits impact your joy? Let me know in the comments.

xo


Interested specifically in my art? Want a piece in your home? Then let’s talk!

Contact me to schedule:
* A virtual coffee
* A private (virtual) art show of my art
* A commissioning conversation to discuss hiring me to create a textured fiber painting uniquely yours

If you enjoyed this essay, and it feels aligned, please share on social media or via email. If you liked it, someone you know will probably like it too!

Life as Harmony

What if you could see the entire world and your part in it as being in harmony? How might that change your reality?

Detail shot from “Any Color’s All Right As Long As It’s Green (for Lucille)”. My maternal grandmother loved creating harmony through music.

Deep thoughts…

Sometimes, during my morning meditation, deep thoughts arise. The questions I asked at the beginning of this essay were what rose up before I sat down to write.

Many of us already know and understand the reality we each experience is really a dream, conjured up by our Spirit self as part of the soul contract we entered into before taking human form. For those who don’t see the world that way, I’ll ask you to allow yourself to consider it as possibility.

From this perspective, we know the way we perceive what we experience to be our reality, because everything happens through perception which is created through bias, through cultural conditioning, through personal history.

So if you chose to perceive every single thing happening in the world right now as being in harmony, rather than discord, how might that change your reality?

Life as symphony…

I have a friend who is a brilliant composer. Her name is Arhynn Descy.

She’s written scores for films. She’s written albums filled with glorious sound.

She’s created an amazing collection of music, each piece played by a single instrument, called “Postcards from a Pandemic”. She’s amazingly talented.

I imagine, for her, much of her life exists in harmony because she spends her time creating those beautiful connections.

We can do the same, even without creating music, when we choose to SEE connection.

Because harmony is about the connection between, how each plays off the other to create the masterpiece that is life.

Connection…

In all the hustle and bustle and toil and strife of daily living, in the doom scrolling, in the adamant polarization present in our society, we seem to have forgotten one single important fact —

We are all human beings, created from Spirit and granted the gift of life on this little blue planet.

We are human first. We are everything else second. We don’t have to agree with or even like each other but our feelings towards one another do not negate the truest reality – we are human and as such, we are already, always, connected to each other by our humanness.

This is where harmony lives.

In the connection that is our humanness.

With joy and ease…and harmony

In the case of our humanness, reality exists without the lens of perception. Humanness is a universal Truth. And when we can remember this basic fact, our connection becomes clear.

From that connection rises the responses of compassion, generosity, humility, and joy. Living from this place, with these deep human responses, creates life as harmony.

Wouldn’t that be a lovely way to live? What’s stopping you from living that way now?


Before I go, if you’d like to experience Arhynn’s amazing talent, you can find her music here:

https://open.spotify.com/embed/artist/24gHxpqLluuZEd8Hy081xM


Before you go, tell me please: How would your life change if you chose to see life as harmony?

xo


If you’re ready for a private (virtual) showing of my art, you can schedule an appointment here.

To discuss commissioning me to make a textured fiber painting specifically for you or someone you love, please schedule an exploratory commissioning conversation and we’ll see what we can create together.

If you enjoyed this essay, and it feels aligned, please share on social media or via email. If you liked it, someone you know will probably like it too!

The GTFOver Myself Project

In late October, I received an intuitive ping to take a selfie. Then I got a second ping that said take one every day and post each of them on social media. I’ve learned to pay attention to those pings, so I complied.

But I wasn’t particularly happy about it.

Day 1 through 9

GTFOver myself…

I wasn’t all that happy about receiving an intuitive message from the Universe directing me to take photos of myself and then share them. I dislike selfies. I’m not fond of seeing myself in pictures. I gave up wearing makeup in the early days of the pandemic. There were a variety of reasons why I felt a frequent urge to slap myself upside the head instead of pointing my iPhone at my face.

But intuitive pings come for a reason. They’re guidance to help us shift past or through something that’s blocking us. Pings are signposts that tell us something we need to learn.

What I needed to learn was to GTFOver myself. I needed to stop hiding in my introverted closet, which had become even easier to accomplish with a global pandemic. I needed to learn how to be visible and in the process, maybe from my example, someone else would learn how to be visible too.

So I committed.

Day 10 though 19

30 days of selfies…

The original ping didn’t give me a timeline, which is often the way with messages from intuition, so I decided I’d do it for 30 days. There were days when I almost forgot to snap a pic. There were days when I knew exactly what I wanted to say in the caption I wrote to go with each photo. There were days when I really, really wanted to stop.

But I persisted.

Learning how to be visible is a lesson I’ve avoided most of my life. I was bullied almost every day for five years in elementary school. That experience taught me it’s simpler, and safer, to be a wallflower. I’ve been struggling with that chaotic vibration for years because it’s not actually my nature to be quiet or demure. I’m a tiny person with a big voice and a ridiculous amount of energy and light. My energetic vibration is high and yet, before I submitted to the GTFOver Myself Project, I was suppressing that vibration.

Taking a selfie every day for 30 days ripped the door off the hinges and released my energy and light. I learned to stop worrying about what others thought of me and instead, just BE me.

Which is a key component to living a life of joy and ease, in touch with your feelings, by the way. When you can BE who you’re meant to be, joy and ease become immediately accessible.

Day 20 through 30

With joy and ease…

We all have lessons to learn while living this human life. Learning to be visible is one of mine. Taking daily selfies not only allowed me to BE who I’m meant to be, it also helped me to feel more comfortable in my own skin. And I think we could all use a little more of that.

This lesson will always be a work in progress. I’ve stopped taking and posting daily selfies because I GotTFOver myself, for which I’m grateful. I’ve now shifted to a weekly selfie practice because I found I enjoyed smiling at people from their social media feeds.

I found I enjoyed sharing my joy with the world.

What lesson do you need to learn that will ultimately give you joy?


If you’re ready for a private (virtual) showing of my art, you can schedule an appointment here.

To discuss commissioning me to make a textured fiber painting specifically for you or someone you love, please schedule an exploratory commissioning conversation and we’ll see what we can create together.

If you enjoyed this article, and it feels aligned, please share on social media or via email. If you liked it, someone you know will probably like it too!

The runaway writer

This year has worn me out. It’s also been the most glorious learning experience, with multiple pivots down different paths. There’s one final pivot for me before the year’s up.

I’m done being a runaway writer.

Not all paths are linear. Most of them curve. Lots of them double back on themselves.

Tell me more…

For the past 3 years, I’ve been on a path to be a life coach (I’ll ignore the various niches I tried and use the broader term for now). In late 2017, I enrolled in a year-long coach training school, excited to learn new skills which I believed would open doors to entrepreneurship and freedom.

On some level, that belief came true. I started my business in early 2018. I learned about marketing. I made lots of connections. I evolved and grew personally.

But the one area where I never quite succeeded was building a client base. I’ve had a few, and they were and are delightful human beings. I’m blessed and grateful they chose me to be a part of their journey. However, I discovered the work didn’t satisfy me in the way I’d anticipated.

That’s because I remained in a state of denial, one I’ve occupied since childhood. I wanted to work for myself but I refused to allow myself to consider the one dream I’ve always had. Instead, I tried to fill the void with something more “practical”, like being a coach.

Face palm

Denial is a river in Egypt…

From as early as 4th grade, I’ve dreamed of being a writer. In that dream, I saw myself penning (these were the days before computers) fabulous novels and delightful children’s books, a famous author with New York Times Best Sellers under my belt.

Through high school and university, I took every writing course I could fit into my schedule because I had to write. You’d think college essays and blue book exams would have satisfied my writing itch, but nope, I wanted more and I chose it.

But even with this dedication to extra writing assignments, and a vision of writing for a living, I still wasn’t completely sure what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I graduated from college and went to work, because that’s what responsible adults do. I didn’t have the financial reserves to pour myself full time into writing a novel and I couldn’t get a job as a writer.

Looking back, I don’t think I even tried. I suspect I thought no one would hire me. Funny how we’re our own worst enemies, isn’t it?

I figured I’d write on my lunch breaks and at home in the evenings and on weekends. I sort of did. The writing came in fits and spurts.

I polished a children’s story I’d written my last year in high school. I started a novel (or three). I tried to find an agent to help get that children’s story published. When I didn’t succeed with getting representation, I allowed defeat in the door. That was a couple decades ago.

Since then, I’ve had numerous blogs. Some private. Most public. I’ve started more novels. I’ve written a couple more children’s books. I’ve continued to write poetry (and published a book of my favorites). I’ve always written but I gave up the dream of calling myself Writer, Author. I told myself I didn’t have it in me, to tell the stories that play in my mind, and then send them out into the world.

Then a recent conversation about joy and ease and what I really want opened that door marked Defeat. My lifelong dream of being a Writer, of being an Author, came floating out from behind that door and lit up my energy center with the vibrancy of a neon sign.

I’m done denying.

I finally know what I want to be when I grow up.

What’s next…

When I re-dedicated myself to my fiber art practice in 2014, I knew I’d start a blog and website for my art because I knew I’d need to write about the work I was creating. This is that site. It will remain that site.

In recent months, I’ve begun posting other essays here, beyond my art. I’ve written about being an artist. I’ve written about creativity. I’ve written about joy and ease. I’m going to keep doing that.

And now I’m going to take it further.

I’ve released the coaching business – again. I’m done looking for clients. If someone wants to work with me in that way, they’ll find me and we’ll talk.

Instead, I’m going to focus on creating my art and my writing. I’m going to share that writing with you, an essay a week.

I’m looking forward to writing on a variety of topics – from living a life of joy and ease to creating feelings out of fiber (my textured fiber paintings) to finding the absurd in the ordinary. My writing will continue to have a spiritual twist to it and I’m giving myself permission to insert the snark and occasional NSFW language that’s part of who I am.

From time to time, I’ll share excerpts from the books I’m writing, too.

Because I am an Artist, a Writer, a Poet, a Joy and Ease Believer and I am done running away from the dream I’ve had all along.

With joy and ease…

I hope you’ll stick with me on this journey to claim my Writer’s identity. I’ll still write essays to inspire because that’s what I do. I’ll also write essays to make the reader laugh or think or dream, maybe even argue. I want to share my stories with you, like I share my poems when I publish a new artwork.

When I finally accepted life is meant to be lived with joy and ease, the decision to be the person I’ve always dreamed of being became clear.

So I hope you hang with me. If you’d rather not, you can always unsubscribe. I’ll be sorry to see you go, but I want you to be true to yourself as I’m being true to me.

(P.S. Please don’t be hasty to depart if that’s what you’re thinking!! I’m sharing an essay next week that’s some of my best work. It’s a humor piece on the absurdity of the ladies’ room. I promise you’ll laugh your ass off. 😉 )


If you’re ready for a private (virtual) showing of my art, you can schedule an appointment here.

To discuss commissioning me to make a textured fiber painting specifically for you or someone you love, please schedule an exploratory commissioning conversation and we’ll see what we can create together.

If you enjoyed this article, and it feels aligned, please share on social media or via email. If you liked it, someone you know will probably like it too!